For this month of October, since we have the whole theme of Halloween, it is fun to reminisce a little and think on the strangest things that have occurred in our lives. We can probably think of anything from dark, creepy basements to weird moments in a graveyard, to voices in an empty hallway. Now, as far as casinos go, there is so much superstition in the air that it is actually strange that paranormal things don’t tend to happen in them. On the flip side, that does not stop normal people from doing things that will leave you flabbergasted. No one has seen the dark side of a casino in more depth than a casino security guard. In researching for this article, I came across an article by an ex-casino security guard who had some “interesting” experiences on the job. Here are, in my opinion, the top five most bizarre.
#5: Stall Surprise
One day a casino security guard on duty received a call that there was a disturbance in the men’s restroom. Upon entering to assess the situation, he found two men locked in a stall engaged in, well, “intimate relations.” The guard rapped on the door and told them to leave and get a room, basically; the men refused. The guard managed to open the stall door to find the one man sitting down on the toilet and the other kneeling in front of him…need I say more? He told them to leave immediately or the staff would call the police. Luckily they heeded the warning, but talk about awkward.
#4: “I Can’t Walk That Far”
You know you simply want to be an annoying complainer when you walk over to a guard to complain about having to walk over. The aforementioned guard was at the entrance to the casino when an elderly man walked out from the garage, across the walkway, and up to him and said, “Your handicapped spaces are all full. I can’t believe that I am expected to park all the way over in the garage. I can’t walk that far!” When the guard proceeded to point out that he had just accomplished quite easily exactly what he was claiming to not be able to do, the man turned and walked all the way back to the garage. No words…
#3: “I’m F***ed Up”
The guards had to patrol on bicycle in the parking garage as part of their routine. One day he came across a man that was panhandling from the guests at the casino in the parking garage; the man was quite apparently drunk. The guard approached him and asked if he could help him. The man responded, “I’m f***ed up.” Politely, the guard told him that he needed to stop bothering the customers and leave. The man repeated, “I’m f***ed up.” The guard insisted, since he was not allowed to use force, and all the man would say was “I’m f***ed up.” Long story short, his dispatch had to call the police to remove the man.
#2: Ghost in the Machine
Sure, superstitions run high in casinos. Every good luck charm, amulet, or bizarre ritual imaginable has been acquired or done in the name of Lady Luck. But when you actually believe that there is a little man inside the slot machine that decides whether you win or not, then I think it’s time to call the funny farm. The guard in question one day was grabbed by the arm by a lady who straight-faced asked him to tell the machine to let her win. The guard told her that an inanimate object like a slot machine does not respond to orders. “I know that,” the lady replied, “I want you to tell the little man inside the machine to pay me…I know there is a little man inside the machine who can see me, and he won’t let it pay off because I’m black! But I’ve been playing this machine all day, and it owes me some money.” Even after the guard saw himself practically obligated to have a tech come and open the machine to show her that there was no one inside, the woman was not convinced.
#1: “The Pissing Bandit”
This one astounds me. Imagine a very well-dressed woman around her 40’s who comes into the casino on a regular basis to play the machines. Then you see her switching to the machine immediately next to that one, then the next one, then the next one. It turns out that the woman would sit at the machine until she urinated on the seat. Whether it was because of being fixed on the game or bladder issues, no one will know. She would wet up to six seats in a session. The worst part was that there was nothing they could do except to replace the soiled seats when she was done. They had to let her play because she brought profits.
Let’s hope our Halloween experiences don’t include anything like these things!
